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Heather's story

Introduction

This story is being told by Mrs Heather Parr whose husband of 22 years, Mr David Parr, died while in our care on the Acute Medical Unit (AMU) at Royal Lancaster Infirmary (RLI) in October 2022. While in the Emergency Department (ED) and AMU David’s basic needs were not met and he was not treated with dignity, empathy, or respect in the days prior to his death. The story also outlines the impact this has had on his wife Heather.

The story

David was diagnosed with oesophageal cancer and was cared for under the Oncology team. He had a brain scan on 10 September 2022 which did not show any changes at that time. However, David rapidly deteriorated in the weeks that followed this.

On the 5th of October 2022, David was brought into ED by ambulance due to him being unable to stand or speak properly and was placed in the corridor by the outside doors where it was cold. David had recently finished having radiotherapy and chemotherapy which had left him feeling acutely cold. He also had a compromised immune system and was surrounded by patients vomiting, coughing, and bleeding. I asked if he could be moved up the corridor only to be told ‘No’ by the nursing staff with no explanation.

Having been advised that the wait time was six hours, we were not offered anything to drink or eat.

David was put on a drip as he was dehydrated, and I waited with him in the corridor all night. While waiting I witnessed other patients being ignored and staff had conversations about other patients in front of me.

I was told that David would be moved to the AMU where a number of staff attempted to put a catheter in, due to urinary retention and David was in excruciating pain and agitated. I asked the nurse to stop, David then went to the toilet and urinated. Three urologists arrived to try to insert a catheter again, which was also unsuccessful.

I left that evening only to receive a phone call as I arrived home, asking me to come back because David had become agitated and aggressive, I asked if David had been given his medication for his mental health as it helps him sleep. As I set back off to the hospital, I received another phone call saying he had settled. I arrived in the morning to find a security guard at the end of David’s bed, where he remained every night when I left.

On the board by David’s bed, it said 1:1, I was the only one who took David to the toilet, fed, hydrated and cleaned him. On one occasion when I took him to the toilet to change his pants I struggled; I asked a nurse what to do with the pants I had taken off him, she said to leave them on the floor in the corner. David wet his pants again later that day and I left the second pair with the first on the floor. I came in the next day to find both pairs still on the floor where I had left them.

Another patient informed me David had a fall in the night, I checked David’s back when I took him to the toilet and there was a large bruise at the base of his back. I queried this with staff and was told that he fell out of bed while trying to get to the toilet whilst being in the care of the security guard.

I complained to staff as David had not been washed for two days and smelled of urine, I asked for a bowl and said I would wash him myself, finally two nurses and myself washed him, at this point I overheard a sister telling the nurse to fill in the paperwork for his fall.

David was put on a soft diet due to his tumour making it painful to swallow but for three days he was continuously offered a sandwich, crisps and an apple. If I had not been present to send it back and to feed him myself, what would have happened?

When I asked for any help, I was continuously told by members of staff ‘in a minute.’

On Sunday 16 October 2022 David began to get worse and was groaning and holding his head, a doctor said he would prescribe a syringe driver of morphine to make David more comfortable. This took hours to sort.

On Monday 17 October 2022 the Oncology team came to see David and said that he needed to be moved into a side room as he was dying, at their request he was moved. I spent the day talking to him and listening to music, nobody came to offer me a drink or to check on David. At 5pm I asked if I could have a reclining chair so I could stay with him. David died later that evening.

I lay with David on the bed for an hour after his death, then the doctor arrived and did her checks. A nurse came in and asked me some questions and said someone would be in to prepare David’s body. I waited and the nurse came back to say there was no nurses available at that time and as soon as he had found someone, they would be in. I looked into the corridor and there he was talking to three other nurses.

That was the final straw and I asked to speak to whoever was in charge, saying the very least David should have in death is not to be left lying there and that I was not going anywhere until someone had prepared his body. I was taken into a side room and the sister explained that they were waiting for me as they did not know if I wanted to be there. At which point I was taken aback, why had they just not asked me?

I was let down and was not given information, if I had known David would receive such poor care in your hospital, I would never have taken him in. I am now left with the guilt, that in his final days his basic needs were not met, which makes me both angry and incredibly sad. We never get a second chance to say goodbye, and this was taken away from both of us.